For many of us, winter is a season of long suffering. The Earth insists on traveling far from our sun, even though it’s been out that way enough times to know what to expect. Because of this planetary wanderlust, we the little people must endure months of itchy clothing, excessive spending, runny noses, unwanted pounds of body fat, and a host of well intentioned but often stressful holiday gatherings with our in-laws.
Fortunately, such misery affords me a chance to wax existential. I’ve been meaning to discuss the nature suffering for a while now, but I’ve been too busy enjoying myself. Now that cold weather has settled in, I feel sufficiently depressed and thus in tune with the issue at hand. And suffering is certainly at hand for each of us, at least some of the time.
I don’t have to see into every mind to know this is true. The evidence can be found in the various ways we try to avoid or alleviate it from our lives. Addictions of every kind permeate our culture. Illegal drugs continue to prosper despite the number of wars we wage against them. We have a booming pharmaceutical industry because we insist on treating everything from cancer to a small penis with pills and potions. Health crazes have moved into the realm of legislation. Merchandizing depends on a self loathing they help to create. I could go on (and have in past entries ... why do I like lists so much?)
Many think of sickness, pain, starvation, or loss when they hear the word suffering, but these are merely the conditions which bring it about. You aren’t suffering illness; you are suffering FROM an illness. You don’t suffer hardship; you suffer THROUGH hardship in order to gain something. And while we do “suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune”, we only say it that way because an Englishman decided it would sound fancy. The very same writer prefaced those famous words by suggesting “’tis nobler in the mind ...” (See? More lists!)
Believe it or not, suffering is merely a state of mind. When something happens to us, our brains decide how we should feel about it. Grief is just one of those ways of feeling. Bliss is another, and we all know we can’t purchase a pound of it to take home. Instead, we buy a pound of double fudge brownies and hope that bliss will arise as we gorge ourselves.
It may seem hopeless to view suffering in this way. There are so many catalysts for it, how can we ever cope with them all? By realizing what they all have in common: desire. It was the Buddha who first suggested that desire is the root of all suffering. We suffer because our needs and expectations aren’t being met.
Of course, Buddhists also suggest we let go of desire entirely and accept things as they are. This solution annoys me, and not just because it’s something other than what I want to hear. Desire has motivated every step in our evolution thus far, and I see no reason why it should stop. Sure it creates dictators and stalkers, but it also fosters discovery and the bonds people share.
We can never avoid all suffering in our lives, nor should we hope to. Conflict has the potential to bring about great change, even when it happens inside of us. For example, we suffer when we catch the flu, but our bodies eventually build up immunity to it, thereby making us stronger in the long run. Trying to avoid the inevitable will just bring about more suffering, which is what you’re trying to avoid in the first place!
My solution is awareness, nothing more. Desire itself is an addiction, one which we try and feed whenever possible. On the off chance that we actually get what we want, we get a rush of satisfaction or happiness that demands repeating. If we recognize that we don’t always get what we want, we may move past the suffering and begin to learn from what’s going on. The universe does not cater to our every need. In fact, it has needs of its own which include our occasional dissatisfaction. Otherwise, how would things get done?
The awareness I speak of would reveal how frivolous most of our suffering is. We aren’t angry because we’re stuck in traffic, rather because we don’t want to be in traffic, or we have things which need to get done. We don’t grieve because someone died, but because we want them alive and with us again. We don’t suffer because we have less than perfect bodies, but because we want the attention and sexy playmates that such bodies will bring us. (List!) All of it is relevant to our perspective.
Remember this as you dig your car out from under large drifts of snow. Your unhappiness is not so much at what is, rather at what you want it to be. And when you realize this, at least some of the time you can let go and get on with things.
Fortunately, such misery affords me a chance to wax existential. I’ve been meaning to discuss the nature suffering for a while now, but I’ve been too busy enjoying myself. Now that cold weather has settled in, I feel sufficiently depressed and thus in tune with the issue at hand. And suffering is certainly at hand for each of us, at least some of the time.
I don’t have to see into every mind to know this is true. The evidence can be found in the various ways we try to avoid or alleviate it from our lives. Addictions of every kind permeate our culture. Illegal drugs continue to prosper despite the number of wars we wage against them. We have a booming pharmaceutical industry because we insist on treating everything from cancer to a small penis with pills and potions. Health crazes have moved into the realm of legislation. Merchandizing depends on a self loathing they help to create. I could go on (and have in past entries ... why do I like lists so much?)
Many think of sickness, pain, starvation, or loss when they hear the word suffering, but these are merely the conditions which bring it about. You aren’t suffering illness; you are suffering FROM an illness. You don’t suffer hardship; you suffer THROUGH hardship in order to gain something. And while we do “suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune”, we only say it that way because an Englishman decided it would sound fancy. The very same writer prefaced those famous words by suggesting “’tis nobler in the mind ...” (See? More lists!)
Believe it or not, suffering is merely a state of mind. When something happens to us, our brains decide how we should feel about it. Grief is just one of those ways of feeling. Bliss is another, and we all know we can’t purchase a pound of it to take home. Instead, we buy a pound of double fudge brownies and hope that bliss will arise as we gorge ourselves.
It may seem hopeless to view suffering in this way. There are so many catalysts for it, how can we ever cope with them all? By realizing what they all have in common: desire. It was the Buddha who first suggested that desire is the root of all suffering. We suffer because our needs and expectations aren’t being met.
Of course, Buddhists also suggest we let go of desire entirely and accept things as they are. This solution annoys me, and not just because it’s something other than what I want to hear. Desire has motivated every step in our evolution thus far, and I see no reason why it should stop. Sure it creates dictators and stalkers, but it also fosters discovery and the bonds people share.
We can never avoid all suffering in our lives, nor should we hope to. Conflict has the potential to bring about great change, even when it happens inside of us. For example, we suffer when we catch the flu, but our bodies eventually build up immunity to it, thereby making us stronger in the long run. Trying to avoid the inevitable will just bring about more suffering, which is what you’re trying to avoid in the first place!
My solution is awareness, nothing more. Desire itself is an addiction, one which we try and feed whenever possible. On the off chance that we actually get what we want, we get a rush of satisfaction or happiness that demands repeating. If we recognize that we don’t always get what we want, we may move past the suffering and begin to learn from what’s going on. The universe does not cater to our every need. In fact, it has needs of its own which include our occasional dissatisfaction. Otherwise, how would things get done?
The awareness I speak of would reveal how frivolous most of our suffering is. We aren’t angry because we’re stuck in traffic, rather because we don’t want to be in traffic, or we have things which need to get done. We don’t grieve because someone died, but because we want them alive and with us again. We don’t suffer because we have less than perfect bodies, but because we want the attention and sexy playmates that such bodies will bring us. (List!) All of it is relevant to our perspective.
Remember this as you dig your car out from under large drifts of snow. Your unhappiness is not so much at what is, rather at what you want it to be. And when you realize this, at least some of the time you can let go and get on with things.
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